Things Most Women Won't Tell You

• That she does, in fact, fake it.
• She hates your mother.
• How much she really weighs.
• Yes, her hair is dyed.
• She is older/younger than you think.
• She acts dumber than she is.
• When it comes to men, she'll do anything to make you jealous.
• That her friends know more about your sex life than you. do.
• Her mother knows more about your sex life than you ever imagined you could know.
• How much makeup she really wears.
• Women don't really want to cuddle after sex, we just whine about it to annoy men.
• About the time she had sex on the Brooklyn bridge/Sears Tower/subway.
• How many she had before you.
• Women are just as superficial as men. You don't think really think were attracted to that glimmering personality or unsuprassed intelligence of yours, do you?
• You are not the "best she ever had".
• If a better offer came along, she'd take it.
• That she never, ever wants you to answer honestly do the question, "Does this make me look fat?".
• She cares more about what you think of her than she will ever admit.
• All those romantic 'homemade' meals came from a box.
• Men say what they think, women say what they think men want to hear.
• There is no such thing as penis envy. Who would envy that?
• Most of us need more attention than you are willing to give.
• As Murphy's Law says "Sex appeal is 50% of what you have and 50% of what they think you have". Women live by this motto.
• Childbirth is not a 'miracle'. She just likes you to wonder what your missing out on.
• Women can drink a lot more than we let on. You don't honestly think we get drunk after 2 beers do you?
• Flattery will get you everywhere.
• Diamonds are not a girl's best friend. Money is.
• Unlike men, we are more than capable of having a platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
• Size does matter.
• If God is anything, She's a woman.