Why Beer is Better Than Men

• A beer is best when its cold and frigid.
• Beer doesn't get performance anxiety.
• You don't have to dress up to get a beer.
• A beer will never tell you how bad you look in the morning.
• Its perfectly acceptable to eye up eight or nine different beers in one trip to the supermarket.
• You are never too old to enjoy a beer.
• Beer takes years to get past its prime.
• You aren't expected to stick with one brand of beer for your entire life.
• Its less obvious if you have a beer whilst you drive.
• You can never have too many beers on the go at any one time.
• A beer is happy to keep you company all the way through City of Angels.
• A beer will not attempt to do D.I.Y. work around the house and accidentally wire your electric toothbrush to the washing machine motor.
• A beer will never tell you that you look fat.
• Beer matures in a matter of months.
• You can blame anything you want on beer, and it won't argue.
• Beer doesn't snore after a good session.
• Beer nearly always comes in a good looking package.
• Beer doesn't mind sharing you with six other beers.
• Beers do not ask you how many other beers you have had before, and if they are the best.
• When you do beer as a party trick, everyone laughs.
• Beer is always available at a good party, and won't hit on your best friend and the coat rack.
• A beer can be shared between you and your friends without getting an ego problem.
• Beer never minds when you sobble on it.
• When you finish a beer, you get to recycle the bottle.
• You can make beer at home.
• You can get complimentary beers when flying first class.
• Beer can make any situation that much better.
• If you say you've had over a thousand beers in your life, people are impressed.
• No one gives you nasty looks if you have both beer and spirits on the same night.
• You always sleep better after having a beer.
• Beer always gives you a feeling of confidence when you're driving.
• Your parents don't get nearly as upset when they find out you had your first beer at the age of ten.
• A beer will never leave you waiting whilst it goes off to the pub with three or four of its friends to eye up the nuts.
  
  
  
  Most of these are courtesy of Ed Hyland (aka Silence on New Moon Mud) with a few of my own thrown in. Remember, this is meant to be humorous, and if you cannot appreciate it, don't read it.