First of all, I remember waking up late the next morning, having fallen asleep in my clothes on top of the bed in the guestroom for the last time. Taylor was laying on the floor, one arm on top of his stomach, the other sprawled out haphazardly to his right. In my sleep hazed mind, during that time when all your weirdest thoughts of the day visit you, I checked for visible signs of drool but rest assured, I saw none from my vantage point and wasn’t about to go up and dip my fingers in it to make sure.
It wasn’t until after Taylor had opened his eyes and said, rather gracelessly, “I smell food,” that I noticed the pleasant smell of a large hot breakfast wafting into the room.
Practically at a run, I followed him downstairs to where Mr. Hanson was reading the directions on a box out loud to Annie, who was quite tensely trying to follow them. Every once in a while, Isaac would reach in and assist. Mrs. Hanson just watched with amusement from the kitchen table, where she was feeding Zoe, who in turn was busy watching Zac as he teased her and made faces. Mackenzie, Jessica, and Avery watched Annie with something akin to disgust on their faces as she mixed the ingredients. I noticed Taylor’s own worried look.
“Good morning,” I said hesitantly.
Everyone turned simultaneously, chorusing their own morning greetings.
“Damnit,” Annie swore as she lost her spoon in whatever she was mixing and had to use another spoon to dig it out, burning herself ever so slightly and dropping the dirty spoon on the floor. Zac quickly retrieved it, rinsing it off in the sink and using a paper towel to clean up the small mess.
“Dare I ask, what are you making?” I asked.
“Pancake batter from scratch,” she said.
“Where’s Lawrence?” Taylor asked innocently enough, sitting down at the table. I sat down beside him.
“Where is Lawrence, anyway?” Annie said, looking around the kitchen, apparently having not realized her husband had gone missing.
“To get the paper,” Mr. Hanson said quickly, while Zac mouthed the word “bagels” to me. I understood immediately.
At least she was trying.
After a breakfast of bagels and pancakes (which weren’t so bad, considering the inexperience of the cook and the questionable mix she had made), a frenzy was set off in trying to get things around. Mrs. Hanson took on making a list of who would ride in what vehicle (I refused to sit in anyone’s lap again, especially since the ride to the airport was longer than the ride to Annie and Lawrence’s house). Mr. Hanson the home movie addict broke out his camera one last time, filming a rather embarrassing version of mine and Taylor’s rendition of “There’s No Business Like Show Business.” Zac and Isaac loaded the car with my suitcases, handing me my carry on bag. Annie dug around in her purse for a pen and pad of paper with the last minute thought that I might want her phone number and address (and e-mail address). I scribbled my own on a sheet of paper for her in return. Lawrence chimed in every once in a while with a reminder of the time.
We left about three hours early because of this. I waved my last good-bye to the Hanson house as it disappeared in the distance, reflecting that my own house would look a little strange now when I got home to it. But at least it would look like home.
At the airport, we sat in the waiting area for a long time. Taylor, Isaac, and Zac tried to look inconspicuous as possible. Each wore hats and Zac bent noticeably low as he scribbled a hasty note for me to give to Theresa when I got home, just saying hi and thanks from all of them. I folded it carefully and put it in the case she had given me with her discman, promising that it would get to her that I wouldn’t read it on the plane (she related the message to me after reading it when I got home. I don’t suspect there was any mushy stuff in there, but one never knows).
At the top of the last hour in the airport, we all rose to say good-bye so we wouldn’t have to do so in haste. It was the last day at Darien Lake scene all over again, but somehow it was more intense. We knew each other so much better now. We understood each other so much better now. It was so much more real to all of us now.
Jessica, Avery, and Mackenzie presented themselves to me first, knowing that my good-bye to them would be less emotional since I had spent most of my time with Isaac, Taylor, and Zac. They all gave me huge hugs and Mackenzie presented me with a picture they had all drawn. I remembered seeing a similar one they had given Taylor when they had separated at the hotel so Taylor could come stay with us, way back in the beginning. That hazy, hard to remember beginning. It felt like a million years had passed since then when it had really only been months.
Mr. and Mrs. Hanson came next, each wrapping me in huge hugs and wishes of good luck and hellos to Gina. I still couldn’t help but feel awkward with them, but their eyes were open and I was still there. None of us could help it.
After them was Lawrence, who only shook my hand and gave me a small smile. I hardly knew him.
Isaac and Zac came at the same time.
“I have to admit that I didn’t think I would be this emotional when it came time to seeing you off back to Rochester,” Zac said to me, looking down at his hands, his voice possessing a definite tremor.
I smiled. “Thanks, Zac,” I said sincerely. “That means a lot to me.”
We embraced and as we did so, I reflected, not for the first time obviously, that Zac was most definitely not the person I would have expected him to be. He was more quiet and reserved than I ever would have expected. Though that might not have been exactly true before my sudden appearance, I still couldn’t help but be impressed by him as a person. For a twelve year old, there was a lot there. I wondered briefly when he was going to let the public see that.
“Brother of a brother,” he mumbled quietly in my ear.
Pulling away, he wiped his eyes on his sleeve and smiled sheepishly.
“So, Parker,” Isaac said, stepping up to me. He seemed to want to say more, but paused momentarily to try and think of what it was. “It’s been an adventure.”
“To say the least,” I agreed. “Thanks for being some kind of understanding, Isaac. I know that this was all probably the least easy for you.”
“I don’t know about that,” he said. “But I’m glad you came. I didn’t think I was going to be, but I am. I’m glad I got to know you as a person and not just some...you know...”
“I know,” I said because I did.
We hugged tightly and when he pulled away, he shook his head.
“I’ll never get over how much you look like Tay, though,” he said. “Or how different you two really are.”
I smiled as he stepped away and Taylor came up to me.
“I guess we kind of did this last night, but they’re probably expecting some showy teary thing, so let’s give them their money’s worth.”
I grinned at this and then suppressed it, pretending to burst into tears. “Taylor! Oh Taylor, my brother! I’ve finally found you and now I’m going to lose you so soon!”
“Parker! We hardly had time to get to know each other!” he exclaimed, also pretending to burst into tears.
Embracing, we pretended for another moment that we were wracked with sobs and then...then it became real as tears slid down my cheeks. For all our good-byes the night before, that was one thing we hadn’t done. Shed tears.
“I think,” I said, pulling away, “that I’ve shed enough tears to fill an ocean over the past couple of months.” I swiped at the offending drops with embarrassed annoyance.
“We’ve definitely filled our quota as guys for a lifetime,” he agreed. “Oh well. What the hell,” he said with a shrug, wiping away his own tears. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too,” I said. “I’m really glad I got a chance to know you.”
He nodded. “Same here,” he said. “Take care of Gina, for me, though, okay?”
“I will,” I promised again. “Keep in touch,” I added as he stepped away.
“Of course,” he said.
Then it was Annie’s turn and that I wasn’t quite prepared for. She stared at me with puzzlement through eyes I now couldn’t believe I hadn’t recognized as mirrors of my own. She opened her purse once more and dug around a little bit.
“I think you should have these,” she said, handing me two pictures, turned downwards so that I didn’t see what they were until they were in my own hands and I had flipped them over.
I gasped a little at what I saw.
One picture was of the woman I recognized from my dreams. A pale, drawn woman whose dark hair flowed over her shoulder in curls, bags under her eyes and other obvious signs of exhaustion gracing her face. She was dressed in a hospital gown and in her arms, two infants slept.
“A nurse took that picture for me,” she said. “She felt sorry for me because I was on my own and all that. She knew, too, that I was going to give you guys up. I guess she wanted me to have something to remember you by or something. It was a nice gesture, but I didn’t appreciate it at the time.”
“I can’t take this,” I said.
“I have copies,” she reassured me, pushing the hand that was trying to give the photo back to her back toward me.
I sighed uncomfortably and looked down at the other photograph.
This one was of the same young girl, very young and very drawn, but also very pregnant. She was smiling at the camera this time, giggling even. The tall man she was with had his arms wrapped around her tightly and was laughing just as hard as she was. Through his glasses, his eyes stared a little disconnectedly at the camera, though and his longish hair fell in his face ever so slightly. He wasn’t quite the man at the piano or the man at the park, but he was the same man, I knew. Just older and weighed down a little with imminent responsibility of two babies. He was Collin Windsor.
“I gave Taylor one, too,” she said. “And I still have one.”
“Thank you,” I said sincerely.
“I’m just sorry,” she said, “that I waited so long to introduce myself.”
“Me, too,” I said. “But it is what it is and all’s well that ends well.” I gave her a reassuring smile, but I felt it tremble slightly and I let it go.
“You’re a good kid,” she said. “Stay that way.”
I nodded. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” I said, knowing that she was taking my farewell as a farewell forever. Though I knew I still wasn’t quite prepared for the relationship that would keep me with her in Oklahoma, the same kind that Taylor had with her, I didn’t want to just let it end there, either. I had waited too long.
“Okay,” she answered. “I’d like that.”
We both cleared our throats uncomfortably and I shifted my weight from one foot to another.
She said it before I did.
“Should we hug or just shake hands?”
I hesitated. I wasn’t sure.
“Well,” I said with a shrug, “you are my mother.”
She practically beamed at that, pulling me in for a tight, warm hug. I wondered briefly, as I took in her scent, what it would be like to grow up in her hugs and her kisses and her smell rather than Gina’s. But it wasn’t a thought I cared to think for long. Everyone had done too much dwelling lately.
“Tell your father I said good-bye, too, okay?” I said. I had seen him only twice since I had found out, once at the dinner where I had agreed to talk to Annie and once when he met us for lunch on our second to last outing with each other.
“I will,” she said, pulling away. “Tell Gina I said hello and...tell her I said thank you.”
I nodded.
We stared at each other a minute more and then, with unusually perfect timing, the tinny crackle of the intercom announced that my flight was boarding. I knew if I was ever going to get out of there, I couldn’t wait for the last call and Mr. Hanson signalled toward the gate.
There, various people pushed past us as we paused once more. I turned one last time to get a last mental picture of a family that had been torn at the seams and was still working to repair itself, allowing new members to join in the healing process they had gotten so used to in all their years together. It kind of awed me, the sight of it. Lawrence with his arm wrapped around Annie, Taylor with his hand on Annie’s shoulder, Mrs. Hanson holding Zoe in her arms with her free hand on Taylor’s shoulder, Mr. Hanson with his arm around Mrs. Hanson, holding Avery’s hand, Avery holding Jessica’s hand, Jessica with her hand on Zac’s shoulder as he bent to comfort a weeping Mackenzie, his own tears streaming down his face.
This would be the image prevalent in my mind when I thought of my trip to Oklahoma later on.
Taylor broke away, however, within moments of my memorization of this to wrap me in a brotherly embrace once more. We were both shaking a little, not only from our crying but just from the power of it. We claimed a lot during our time together that we had trouble really accepting it, but at least we were able to fathom the fact that we were brothers...but I know that that was when it finally hit us. Right when we were parting from each other. And it hit hard.
Then we separated and, this time not bothering to hide our tears, I turned away from the family and boarded the plane. My seat was an aisle seat and I struggled to find a relatively comfortable position in it so I might not annoy the person stuck next to me for the next few hours on the trip by moving aroudn constantly. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, willing for the tears to go away.
A few minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder and slid open my eyelids to peer at a young woman sitting across the aisle from me. She looked slightly nervous as she began to speak.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” she said. “But, um, are you...Taylor Hanson?”
I smiled and shook my head. “Nope,” I said. “Sorry.”
“Oh, it’s okay,” she said. “I didn’t really think so. It’s just that you look so much like him. Are you related?”
I felt my smile grow wider, remembering Zac’s new affectionate term for me. “Brother of a brother,” I said, more mumbling it to myself than answering her question.
She giggled a little at my answer. It was a pleasant sound, even though I knew she couldn’t have understood why I had replied to her question that way.
“Do you live in Tulsa?” she asked.
Again, I shook my head. “No,” I said.
“Why are you heading to Rochester?” she asked, apparently getting a little confused at my answers to her questions.
I didn’t hesitate.
“I’m on my way home,” I told her.