Taylor
Even still, my stomach did somersaults just the same. When Annie had told me where we would be going the night before, I had laid out a plan and resolved to myself that I was going to talk to her on the matter of my family and the conclusions I had come to about them. Preferably when Parker was somewhere else since I doubted he would have wanted to hear what I had to say and the possible ensuing argument. So it couldn’t be while we were trapped in a vehicle together, that would have been cruel to Parker, and it couldn’t be while we were all standing surrounding my father’s grave, which somehow felt sacriligeous. Therefore it had to be a time when Parker wasn’t in the car. Like when we pulled into the driveway of my house and he flew out the door like a bat out of hell, mumbling a quick good-bye to Annie.
“That was productive,” she said, watching him disappear inside the house.
“It was sure something,” I said. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Uh-oh,” she said. “I don’t know if I like the sound of that. Should I turn off the car?”
“Sure,” I said. “This might take a minute.
She did as she said and turned the key in the ignition. The music was cut off immediately and the car stopped its slightly unhealthy low Chewbacca growl. She sat back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest and waiting patiently for me to begin.
“This might not be the most convenient time,” I admitted. “Just after the whole thing in the graveyard and all, but I just didn’t know when else I would find the time to do it, so...”
“It’s okay,” she said. “Go on.”
“Well, I figure while we’re handing out gratitude for the families you so wisely picked for us when you decided to give us up, I should thank you for the one you picked for me,” I said. “I know my parents have been kind of weird and my dad has been a downright jerk to you lately, but they’re really good people. Like Parker said about Gina, they’re two of the best people I know. I don’t think you could have picked better for me and I can’t tell you how thankful I’ve always been, even before I knew I was adopted, that I ended up with a family like that. With two parents who just so obviously loved all of us so much and siblings that I got along with so well and cared for so much.”
She waited for me to go on as I paused, much in the same way she had waited for Parker in the graveyard. But I could see the increasing worry in her features as she listened to me and that made me hesitate.
“I think I forgot lately just how great a family I have,” I said. “I mean, we’ve been mad at each other and all, but we’re working it out. Getting through it. Just like we always have and like we always will when another family crisis arises. The truth is I have a really understanding family as much it doesn’t really seem so lately. They don’t push me to do the things I don’t want to do and they let me do pretty much what I do want to do, even if it hurts them. As long as they know it’s good for me anyway.”
Now she turned back to the windshield instead of looking at me.
“And I’m not saying that you don’t do the same thing for me. Because you’ve been really good to me, too, over the time I spent with you. I got to know you like I wanted to. And I found out that I like you a lot. You’re a great person. So is Lawrence. But...this is my family. I think...in light of recent confessions...I need them now. A lot. And...”
I trailed off just as I was getting to the point because I found a road block in front of it. I couldn’t seem to say it because it was so obvious that, as I was saying it, it was hurting her.
“You want to go back home,” she finished for me quietly.
“Yeah,” I said. “Please understand...”
“No, Taylor, it’s okay,” she said, but her voice sounded numb somehow. “I’ve kind of been waiting for you to say something like that for a while. My dad kind of helped me realize it when I was talking with him on the phone the other day. That you need your family now. You need Walker and Diana and Isaac and Zac and the rest. I do understand that.”
She must have noticed my stunned silence because she looked at me again and smiled.
“Would you rather I scream and shout and throw a fit and drive full speed down the wrong side of the road or something?” she said. “Taylor, I know the kind of people I gave you up to all that long time ago. I can still see them in there somewhere even though they’re a bit...frigid toward me. Which hurts, but is also understandable. This is your family. And I love you and it’s not that I didn’t enjoy having you, but you’re right that you do belong here. This is where you grew up and the people you grew up with. I just hope you visit me every once in a while because I don’t think Parker’s going to.”
I nodded mutely, feeling a wave of guilt at the dejection in her voice.
“But tell me something,” she said, now looking away and toward the fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror. “Why did you really come to stay with me? It seemed a bit...impulsive.”
I sighed, knowing that she was right. There had been other reasons, though they were ones I was willing to admit to myself recently.
“I wanted to get to know you better, that was the truth,” I said. “But I think I also wanted to escape. Because I thought that you would be less comfortable, not knowing me as well, asking me about what had happened to land me in the hospital. What had really happened, I mean. I knew that if I went home, everyone would constantly be giving me worried looks and pressing me for information. Because they cared, I know, but it would have made things worse, I think, than someone who wouldn’t have asked at all. I wanted to keep it inside. I thought that was better.”
She nodded.
“Are you hurt?” I asked.
“A little,” she admitted.
I nodded.
“I should go,” she said after a while. “Reese is probably wetting his pants wondering what happened. I’ll bring your stuff by some other time, unless you want to get it yourself?”
“I’d like to get it myself,” I said. “If that’s okay.”
“That’s fine,” she said. “Well, off with you. Go spread the happy news to your family.”
I smiled weakly, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. I saw her blush as I got out of the car and watched her pull out of the driveway.
That was too easy. But I wasn’t going to dwell on it.
When I got into the house, Parker was on the phone talking in a hushed tone and my mother was watching him nervously from where she was cleaning out the refrigerator. She glanced at me and raised her eyebrows in question, nodding her head toward Parker’s back turned toward her. I shrugged and smiled reassuringly, making the “a-okay” sign with my hand, though in truth I couldn’t be completely certain that it was. At least we had all survived our trip to the graveyard. That had to be something.
She nodded back and I made my way quietly upstairs, knowing that the only time my mother had any actual free time was when Zoe was down for a nap. It was an unspoken rule that all remained as silent as possible. Whoever woke her up had the privilege of keeping her by their side for the estimated time she would have slept until. We had all done it at one time or another, whether with Zoe or the others, so we all knew well enough to keep our voices down and our steps soft.
I entered the bedroom to find only Zac sitting at the desk, chin in one hand, pen in the other, contemplating a blank piece of paper in front of him. He looked up when I came in.
“How did it go?” he whispered.
“Not too bad,” I whispered back. “Parker had some interesting things to say, but all seems well. As well as can be expected. Maybe even better than expected, if he’s not on the phone with Gina right now making arrangements to get on the next plane home.”
“Actually, Gina called here earlier,” he said. “She wanted Parker to call her back when he got in. That’s probably what he’s doing.”
I nodded. “I wonder what for,” I mumbled.
“What else?” he said, looking at me plainly. “Lyle.”
I took a deep breath at the name and let it out slowly. When I opened my eyes again, Zac’s expression hadn’t changed. He was being more impassive than usual. Something was bothering him.
“Must suck to have a demon with a name,” he commented.
I shrugged, almost making a comment that his demon’s name was Annie, but decided not to say it. Of everyone, Zac showed the least animosity toward Annie. Saying something like that would have been, if not untrue, unfair.
“What were you talking with Annie about?” he asked, gesturing to the window that looked down on the driveway. I guessed he had gone there as soon as the car pulled into the driveway and noticed how long it took me to get out the car.
I sighed. “Living arrangements,” I answered truthfully.
He lowered his eyes to his lap.
“You’re going back soon, then, I take it,” he said and I had never heard Zac sound more hurt in my entire life.
“Well, yeah,” I said. “I have to get my stuff.”
It took a moment for what I was saying to register and he looked up at me, his face at first stricken and then melting into a hesitantly surprised smile.
“What?” he said.
“Don’t make me sing ‘Coming Home,’” I said, grinning.
“You’re coming home?” he asked, still sounding as though he thought I might be lying to him.
“If you guys will have me,” I said. “And if you don’t mind giving up your new bed.”
“I hate that bed!” he said, jumping up and yanking me into a hard, excited hug. I laughed as I squeezed back just as hard. He pulled away after a moment. “Do Mom and Dad know? Does Isaac know?” Then, a little more seriously. “How does Annie feel about it?”
My smile faded at the end of it. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “She acts like she’s all right, but I don’t think she is. And your ethe only one who knows so far.”
He frowned a little at what I had said about Annie, but then smiled again and pulled me into a loose hug. “Welcome home,” he said.
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“With the stars as my guide, I’ll be there by your side. I am coming home.”
Don't think I don't know that if I really were Parker, you'd already have written me...
Chapter Fifty-Four
Chapter Fifty-Six