Chapter Twenty-Six
Annie

I felt like I was walking knee-deep in mud as I walked along the sidewalk with Taylor, feeling the heat of the sun beat down even though it was on the verge of setting. It was like everything was moving in slow motion. And the way he was staring at me didn’t make things any easier.

He was waiting for me to say something. I had dragged him out for a “short walk around the block” after dinner, letting on that I needed to talk to him about something serious on that walk. And now we were three quarters of the way around the block and I hadn’t said one word the whole way.

I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t get my voice to work. Every time I wanted to open my mouth and just blurt the news out to him, I couldn’t. I didn’t know how I was going to tell him. I had always gotten out of saying the hard things before. How did one go about telling someone something that was so hard to say?

Once his house was once again in sight, he finally spoke.

“Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked.

I stopped in my tracks and finally turned to him. He looked at me earnestly, encouraging me to say what I needed to say. I think that’s one of the things I loved about him so much. He reminded me of Reese. And Reese reminded me of Collin.

That thought at least got me to open my mouth.

“A...”

Well, it was a start.

“A...?” he prodded me, a hint of an amused smile on his lips.

“A....friend...A friend of mine...died...recently,” I told him slowly. It got harder with every word.

“Oh,” he said, not sure how to react. “I’m sorry. Who?”

“His name was Collin Windsor,” I told him. “I knew him a long time ago. He died of cancer this past week. That’s kind of what my father is doing around here. He works at the hospital where my friend died. I was going to go to the funeral with him on Sunday.”

Taylor nodded.

“I was wondering what your father was doing here,” he said honestly.

“Yeah, well, that and he wanted to meet you,” I said, beginning to smile a little bit. “You should have seen him on the way here. He was so nervous that you wouldn’t like him.”

“He seems nice. Got some interesting stories, that’s for sure,” he said. “But I don’t understand what your friend’s death has to do with me.” It was obvious he was eager to get to the point, knowing that my lack of the same eagerness was a bad sign.

“Um...,” this was the hard part, “well, I was just...I kind of want you to come to the funeral with me. If that’s all right with you.” Damn. I had accidentally skidded over the hard part.

His face took on an expression of puzzlement.

“Sure I’ll go,” he said. “Why do you want me to come?”

“Don’t agree to it yet,” I said. Now we were at the hard part. “The reason I want you to come is....because...I mean...well, I want you to come because...,” I sighed in frustration with myself. Just spit it out! a voice in the back of my mind seemed to scream. “I want you to come because Collin Windsor is....was...your biological father.”

His eyes widened with shock. He actually took a few steps back from me as if he didn’t know who I was or what I had done with the real Annie.

“What?” he said with disbelief.

“Collin Windsor, the guy who died, was your father,” I repeated. “Your biological father.”

But there were no tears when I said it. He only lowered himself down so that he was sitting on the sidewalk. I was grateful for that even as I cautiously sat down beside him, not quite sure what to do or say. I had too little experience with parenting to know what to do if anyone above the age of ten was crying.

“So you do know who my father....was,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ve never told anyone except Reese and my parents before this, so I don’t doubt that if your parents said anything at all about who your father might be...Well, Collin’s name probably never came up.” I didn’t actually know what Taylor’s parents had said to him about his father. But I knew some of what they had said to him about me and I had no doubt that, whatever they had said about his father, it wasn’t very flattering.

“Collin Windsor,” he repeated the name, seeing how it felt on his tongue. “And now he’s dead?”

“Yeah,” I said sadly. “I’m sorry, Taylor. I didn’t mean to wait until he was dead to tell you who he was. I was just planning on saving it for a while and then let you go and see him on your own. I didn’t plan for him to die or anything.”

He nodded absently, apparently having stopped listening to me.

“So we have to tell Parker now, right?” he said.

Shit. Of all things for him to have to say at this point, did he really have to bring that up? I was barely prepared for the expected questions, much less the unexpected ones.

“I don’t think so,” I answered. He didn’t look at me when I said it, apparently not all that surprised, but visibly disappointed, even turned away. “I know, it seems cruel to keep him from his own father’s funeral. But, I don’t know. I’m still not ready.”

“You’ll have to be ready soon,” he said. “Parker isn’t stupid, Annie. Did you see him staring at us at dinner tonight? He’s going to figure it out eventually. And I think everyone would be better off if we didn’t let that happen. If we told him first.”

“I know,” I said. “But, I mean, I don’t want it to be like, ‘I’m your real mother. Your real father is dead. Want to come with Taylor and me to the funeral?’ I don’t think he’d respond too well to that.”

“Yeah, well, he’s got to find out somehow,” he said.

“I need time,” I said. “I told you before, it’s not that simple. I have to find the right moment.”

“There’s not going to be a right moment,” he said. Then added with a quiet intensity, “And if you don’t do it, then I will. Seriously.”

“Taylor...”

“No, I mean it,” he said. “It’s been four days. I’m not sure I expected you to do it on the first day or the second day or even the third day, but he’s only going to be here so long. And within that span of time, someone’s going to have to tell him. I would like that someone be you, but I’ll do it if I have to. So will Isaac, Zac, my dad, my mother. Which is exactly why I’d rather it be one of us.”

I sighed. “Taylor, I really don’t want to have this discussion with you right now.”

He shook his head. “We don’t have to talk about it. I just want you to know where I stand on it.”

“I figured you stood there anyway,” I said. “But please don’t tell him, Taylor.”

“I won’t if you do,” he said.

“Not tonight.”

“Soon.”

He began to walk away, toward the house.

“So does this mean you’re not coming to the funeral?”

He stopped in his tracks.

“We’ll see.”

So do you think Taylor will actually do it? If not, then who?
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Seven