By Shabir Ahmed  

Food line

Being a so-called 'muslim' must be tough. For example to eat halal meat you have to rely on total strangers of assumed impeccable character, some of whom you will never meet.

Firstly the owner of the abattoir. He has to be such that he employs men who will do the job of ziba-ritual slaughter. Regardless of the fact that these employees' wages will be far higher than that of the average worker -before you rush to the job centre, remember beards, although not essential, are an advantage.

Secondly, the person who actually slaughters the animals must never forget to say his prayers before killing, otherwise people who believe they are eating halal are actually eating haram meat, according to their own beliefs!

Thirdly your local butcher must always buy from the abattoir that employs the person who never forgets to say the prayer before slaughtering each animal. The fact that it might not be economically viable should have no effect on his decision. It is his duty to provide you with halal meat - Or is it?

Now where did I put my Big Mac?