Philosophy 101 Questions

If a tree falls in a forest, but there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? Who cares? THESE are the important points to ponder in this game we call life...

If you eat a whole pumpkin pie (with whipped cream), but there’s no one there to see you, are you still a pig?

If your house has beautiful place settings, lovely linens and gorgeous flower arrangements, but you have zero personality, are you, in reality, Martha Stewart?

If you pompously look down on publications like The National Enquirer, The Globe, and the Star, but secretly inhale every issue of People, US and InStyle, do you have latent tabloid tendencies?

If you know every word of every song Barry Manilow has ever sung, but you don’t admit it to anyone, are you still a dork?

If you watch The Silence of the Lambs, but you have your hands over your eyes the whole time, can you really rag on your friends who were too scared to see it?

If you accidentally knock over every single bike in the KMart sporting goods department, but there's no one there to see you, do they really go clackity clackity clackity clack clack clack? (I am just guessing, this has never really happened to me…)

All right... class dismissed for now. Your homework is to ponder these ageless questions and be prepared to discuss them. There will be more where these came from, and of course a quiz...

Oh, oh, oh! Since our brown nose students have requested it, here's an extra credit assignment for you Philosophy 101 students!

Come up with a question about this guy... Send your questions to philosophy101ballerinadude@reale.org