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VISIONS

      ----insights; perceptions with one’s imagination
      ----dreams; revelations in ecstasy

I am forever chasing visions. Today, it is a vision of mountains – hazy backdrop against a sandy shore. Riding the wavecrest on a speedboat, I feel puny and small as I approach the shoreline. The waves lash out against the sides of my boat, yet with each distance covered, a sense of satisfaction surges over me. I am David taking on Goliath. If the mountains were Goliath, I as David have drawn out their very strength. I am possessed with their majesty and awesome power. I, David, have become Goliath.

Who dares walk in my world brandishing a sword? Let no one come near me. I am a mountain. Unperturbed, undisturbed – mighty. I cannot be vanquished. I am invincible.

Yesterday, I soaked myself in a lakeside vision. I sat atop a grass bank, took out a fishing rod, put in some bait, and threw it all into the water. How easy to let the world go and pass me by. All I wanted was for that fish to take my bait while I closed my eyes. It was a delicious thought to let time move on without me. I cared not one bit to be left behind, floating mindlessly in nowhere space.

I got off the world. So I know it will not collapse and crumble when I am not around. It does not spin around me. I am a mere infinitesimal speck of nothing. What a comfort that is! I am not responsible for the mess people make of their lives. I am only responsible for mine. The fish I catch with my fishing tackle are all my endeavors. No one should blame me if the fish at the end of the tackle is not a big one, or if I ever get to catch one at all. I alone will take home my catch to do as I please.

As for tomorrow…..”a brave new world”…I begin to create another vision – fresh as spring wind, initially faltering like a child walking its first steps… an unexplored thought…an uncharted sea. My mind is excited at the prospect. I become an inventor who never cease trying out new things. Or a painter with fingers forever holding a paintbrush to his easel. What possibilities the vision brings!

My visions are my creations. I can hold each one in a champagne glass... let it sparkle as I lift it to the light. I sniff at it, get drunk with the smell and taste of it. I allow myself to be intoxicated at the thought of it.

Visions are butterflies – rainbow-colored, flitting among the flowers, dancing in the breeze - free spirits – no one’s slave, everybody’s treasure. But they can be as difficult to pursue and capture as the wind itself. You will need a lot of focus and mindfulness to catch one such pretty creature as this. And when you do, take care lest you crush it in your hand.

Images in kaleidoscope. Visions in an array of splendor – yours to reach out, own or discard. How rich or dazzling you wish any of it to be depends on how far your imagination will carry you.

Do we need visions? I do. It is one way of keeping my head above the clouds, knowing that all else below are only a part of the scenery. Just a mist in the horizon. Or a dream which vanishes as another tomorrow comes. Or a slate that you can wipe off any time you wish…what freedoom!

.............................©Jotte: Aug. 8, 1999

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