Chalky, Dufus, Shirt & Enigma…

…Visit a Local Group for Local People


Many a time had the three principal group members talked of making First Contact with those terrible aliens known as Local Groups…

There was one in Sutton, they knew that. It was also run by…a WOMAN! Shock! Horror!

Anthony Ainley had asked them if they knew the lovely Servalan after meeting him in Sheffield. They hadn't - but vowed to get in touch.

18 months later they eventually did.

It so happened that both groups were sending contingents along to Invasion 2001 (see Chalky, Dufus & Shirt…Invasion!).

They met briefly and Chalky, Dufus and Shirt were invited along to their next meeting the following Sunday.

Throwing caution to the wind, the trio DID attend said meeting - to be held at the abode of a school caretaker.

Approaching the door (after wondering whether they should park in the school car park or not) they hesitated in ringing the doorbell.

Dufus did, but after waiting a few minutes had received no response. Wondering whether they'd got the right house, they rang again. Still no response, but Dufus swore he could hear voices inside.

"Probably hiding behind the sofa, waiting till we've gone," suggested Chalky.

Dufus tried knocking, and to their surprise the door opened.

"Have we got the right place?" they all asked half-heartedly, terrified in case they should appear completely sad and nerdy to complete strangers who hadn't seen Doctor Who since Tom Baker was in it.

"For the Doctor Who thing..meeting…" they added, trailing off embarrassed.

"No!" said the man, "Ha ha! Of course, come in!"

They entered cautiously and found themselves in a plushly decorated lounge with various Doctor Who fan types scattered around the room.

Brief introductions and it was on with business.

The inquisition began as Chalky, Dufus and Shirt were asked about general likes and dislikes.

The local group recoiled in horror at the revelation that Chalky was Delta and the Bannermen's biggest fan (and had brought Episode 1 to watch as his favourite episode).

Shirt scared the pants off them by citing Colin Baker as his favourite Doctor, and Dufus bored everyone by saying nothing surprising and jumping on the farty-arse fan bandwagon.

Food was brought out and the newbies inflicted their favourite episodes on the group - Delta and then Paradise Towers Episode 2 from Shirt. Dufus had brought Robots of Death (boring) and the group watched Earthshock Episode 1 instead (brought by another group member) and played 'How Many Stories Have Got Those Helmets in?

There was a hairy moment when one local member suggested that the later Who years were 'pantomime', unaware that this was Chalky's personal bugbear and it took great restraint and self control for him not to jump upon his soapbox and list 101 reasons why the later Who years are Not pantomime (and they're NOT do you here?).

The newbies were also immensely entertained by stories of location spotting at Heathrow.

Chalky, Dufus and Shirt had to leave soon after watching a grainy copy of Evil of the Daleks Episode 2, but vowed to return the following month - hopefully with Enigma in tow.

The group comprised:

Servalan (the leader)

ORAC (DWAS representative)

Blake (RAF pilot)

Jenna (matriarch)

Cally (choral-singer)


Tarrant (Dufus Mark II)

(no offence meant J ).

The following month, Enigma did deign to join the group after a prolonged absence.

The afternoon progressed similarly to previous but with the added attractions of Enigma J and a quiz!

Needless to say the unbeatable team of Chalky and Enigma won hands down with 15 points - and should have got 16 because they only mispelled Padmasambhava by one letter (the penultimate 'a' having been missed out). Although, the fact that there was a Delta and the Bannermen question probably tipped the balance.

Enigma had to return to work, so Chalky slipped out with her for a while (J ) and then returned to find the group watching various interviews and news items. After briefly teasing him that they had already watched the Delta Party Tape (sods) they revealed they hadn't and settled down to see amusing bloopers, rock and roll songs and various fashion mistakes of the Doctor Who crew.

Another great game played by the gang was 'Let's Wait for Roger Delgado'.

In viewing the studio footage for The Claws of Axos, Jade promised the group there was some good stuff with Mr. Delgado. However, after watching glaringly Masterless scenes repeated for at least 3 takes, one can become slightly tired of the wonder that is The-Story-Formerly-Known-As-The-Vampire-From-Space.

The highlight of this viewing (apart from the delight of finally seeing Roger Delgado (half an hour later) was probably the wonderfully catty Jon Pertwee asking if 'people would stop dancing about in his eye-line' - oooooh, get him!

(Oh and Katy Manning's 'This is Bill Washington from Filer' line was quite funny too J ).

After Episode 4 of The Evil of the Daleks (which is interminably dull on audio reconstruction, cos there's no dialogue for the first 10 minutes, just a lot of grunts from Jamie and Kemel (ooer), and Episode 2 of The Keeper of Traken (wahey - Nyssa), it was time to wend their merry ways home.

After trying to get his hand on the Delta Party Tape (and failing miserably), Chalky, Dufus and Shirt vowed to return in a month with details of their first Doctor Who memory.