ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!!

In August of 95 I was diagnosed with a malignant tumor in my leg that was a type of rare bone cancer called Osteosargenic Sarcoma. I was 24 then, on the high age end of the disease. I could not believe what the doctor was telling me, bone cancer, this can not be happening to me! Reality had hit me like a freight train, I then realized I was not as invincible as I thought I was. It made me angry and mad at the world. So many unanswered questions raced through my mind, Why Me? What did I do to deserve this? Why is this happening to me? But it does happen, and to many great people everyday. The anger and frustration I felt only fueled the determination to endure what ever I had to do, to get past it. I was not ready to go yet; there was so much in life that I have not yet experienced. That is one of my points I want to get across, it does happen and it can be beat. Society has negatively conditioned us into thinking that cancer is a death sentence, this is far from the truth. You are in charge of your cancer; your cancer is not in charge of you. I know that if I can beat it other people can too.

I have received incredible support from family, friends, and what surprised me the most is how much support I received from the community. I never realized how many good people there are in the world. The support I received gave me great strength; it made me feel like I wasn't the only one going through this. It gave me strength to keep going in my weakest hour.

One of the things that I saw in the numerous times that I spent at the hospital that affected me the most is all the little kids with cancer that had there childhood taken away from them because of cancer. It made me feel selfish for feeling sorry for myself. I had a childhood; these kids did not even get a chance. It also made me realize how good I actually had it; no matter how bad your life is there is always someone who has it worse.

Looking past the bad that cancer does there are also good things that can come out of it. My cancer has taught me a lot about life, how precious it is, and how much we all take for granted. It has brought me closer to my parents and friends. It has given me a whole new attitude about life, all of life's little twists and turns all seem pretty trivial now. I can earn the respect of almost anyone by just telling him or her I had bone cancer. I have even had people go as far as to call me a hero, which really does not make any sense to me. I am not hero, I am a survivor, and I have only done what any one else would have done.