02/08/00 Remain by Araxdelan Dedicated to Karo, for her birthday. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Krycek cried. Fell to his knees and wept tears enough to soak the soil. It had ended. Free as never before he poured himself out, and knew a sort of serenity. Mulder sat down beside him, laid an uncommonly gentle hand on his shoulder. Then, looking across the horizon, Mulder imagined the battles never fought, contemplated their quiet, laborious victory. He began crying, too. They sat, and the sun rose. They were gloriously alone, all of them. A lonely, isolated planet once more. And Mulder and Krycek shared a sort of bond, then. Two humans who had no longer felt at home on their planet, the world feeling alien with the other-worldly visitors present, as though their otherness had infected everything. The Others gone now, the two knew safety and order again. The universe was still scary, but for the moment, their planet was free of unfamiliar things. They examined it with new eyes. Appreciated it. They had fought for every person, every animal, every drop of water, every blade of grass. The purpose of the battle had been often lost, as they had more than once lost themselves. But suddenly, vividly, it was clear once again. The beauty of it all, the beauty of the earth and the beauty of living struck them violently. It had all been worth it, after all. Every bruise, every crack to the skull. Every part of them that had broken away. Every part of them that had been stolen away. Each lost second, hour, day, month, each and every year thrown towards destroying the beast. Everything they would never have now. Wholeheartedly they had marched forward, living for the quest, living for victory. Unselfishly, they had offered themselves. They were consumed, in a manner, humanity and sanity and happiness flowing away, leaving them feeling like husks. But in that moment, the grateful earth refilled them. They sat and watched and felt and cried. No longer battling, they simply lived. No longer soldiers, they were merely men. Two who had thought these states forever lost were suddenly made whole by their renewed existence. The sun shone on them, and they bathed in it until the time came to leave. They rose, and walked away. It was no surprise when their hands drifted together, and locked. When their tears had dried they realized that some things are never lost. They remain, always, safely hidden from everything, including oneself. It was just one more bit of knowledge they together shared. ~fin~